


Never Saw Blue Like That Before

by dontshootmespence



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Dean Winchester Gives Oral Sex, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Oral Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 13:10:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22847965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontshootmespence/pseuds/dontshootmespence
Summary: With Michael gone from the far reaches of Dean’s mind, Cas decides to tell his best friend - the man he rose from hell - his true feelings. He’s been in love with him for years and he’s pretty sure Dean feels the same way. Dean does, but being Dean, his first instinct is to push the man he loves away.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel
Kudos: 12





	Never Saw Blue Like That Before

Few things were certain.

One certainty is that they would be fighting forever. And the other was Cas’ longtime feelings for the man he raised from hell. Michael was gone, cast out from Dean - for now. But there were no guarantees. 

Cas swallowed the lump in his throat and knocked steadily on the door to Dean’s room. When he opened it, Dean shuttered slightly, as if he hadn’t expected Cas to be there. “Cas,” he said, voice soft and low. “What’s up?” He injected a levity into his voice that was unnatural and they both knew it. 

“Can I come in?” Cas asked, not waiting for an answer. 

A small huff of laughter escaped Dean’s lips. “Yea, sure.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Cas questioned. Quite the stupid question all things considering, but he couldn’t get the other words to come out yet.

“Well, Michael vacated my meat suit and I have no freakin’ idea why. He’s still out there. And I have no idea what he’s planning on next, so you know, could be better.” He had his hands on his hips, his lip trembling as he tried so hard to control the myriad of thoughts rolling through his head. 

For a moment, Dean glanced up, chancing a look at one of the two people he trusted most in the world. In all his years, all the people he’d met, all the things he’d seen, there’d never been a feeling closer to peace than when he’d looked in the angel’s eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Cas forced the words out. “Dean, there’s something you need to know. When you let Michael in, I was so afraid I’d never get the chance to say it, so I’m saying it now regardless of the consequences. I…love you.”

“Yea, I know you do, Cas,” Dean said, immediately on the defensive. He turned away a degree, hoping to hide himself from the angel, but after 10 years, he was wise to Dean’s mannerisms. 

Cas reached for Dean’s arm and yanked him back to face him. “No, not just as my best friend. Not just as the man I raised from hell. I-”

“No, no, no, no.” Dean mumbled to himself as he began to pace around the room. This couldn’t be happening. Of course, he loved Cas, he could barely remember a time when he didn’t, but… “Cas, you’re just glad I’m okay, that’s all this is.”

“No it isn’t!” The angel replied, his voice rising ever so slightly. He assumed Sam was still out of the bunker, but if he wasn’t Cas didn’t want to grab his attention. “Dean, that is not what this is. This has been sitting in my head for years. Every time I thought about saying something, another apocalypse was on the horizon or another monster needed to be slain, but that’s our lives and I couldn’t live anymore without getting it out of me.”

Dean bellowed, “Save me the sob story, Cas!” He combed his hands through his hair, still flecked with dirt and grime. The seraph flinched, taking a step back. Cas had no idea what he was saying. “We can’t! Not now, not ever!”

Before Cas could say or do anything, try and salvage whatever it was that they had, Dean barreled out of his room and out of the bunker, leaving Cas distraught and the nearby Sam saddened at his brother’s trademark stubbornness. 

——–

It was a dream. That much he knew. But he didn’t care. All Dean cared about was the slight breeze that came off the lake, the fishing pole in his hand and the sudden coolness at his back - the angel that permeated his dreams. “Hey Cas,” he said softly. “Why are you here?” It’s not what he wanted to say. What he wanted to say was ‘stay here’ and ‘let’s not move ever again,’ because this was perfect. 

But cowardice always won out. Put a knife in his hand and a demon at his back and he’d tackle that head on. But he couldn’t say those few simple words when the angel was near. 

“I have something I need to tell you,” Cas replied. There was so much he needed to say. How much humanity had already changed him. How much Dean had changed him and made him better. But that wasn’t why he was here. “We need to meet somewhere safe.”

Dean’s lip curved upward into a smile, the irony apparent. “Cas, we’re in my head.”

“And if I can be here, nothing says someone else can’t be here.” After handing Dean the paper, fingers brushing against the calloused skin of Dean’s right hand, Cas left - every word he wanted to say bottled up in the back of his mind for whenever the time was right.

——–

Leaned up against the Impala with a beer in his hand should’ve left Dean content, but with Sam in the pit and no conceivable way to get him out, Dean was lost. He tipped the bottle to his lips and took a swig when the familiar flap of Cas’ wings sounded behind him. “Hey, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.” He wanted to ask how he was, but he knew the answer. And he also wanted to say so much, but with Dean in pain it didn’t seem right to complicate things. “Why are you out here alone?”

Dean dipped down to the cooler next to him and popped a bottle open for Cas. “I’m not alone. Just needed to breathe. I was in a similar field like this with Sam when we were kids. We set off fireworks even though Dad would’ve been pissed. It was one of the best days of my life.”

“We’ll get him back, Dean.” If it killed him, he’d get Sam back for the man he loved. “I promise.”

“I know,” Dean replied. They would find a way, but he wasn’t about to lose Bobby or Cas in the process. “You didn’t have to check in on me, you know.”

Cas drank the bitter liquid and smiled, his face hidden in the shadows of the night. “I wanted to.”

——–

As Cas followed behind Dean and the vampire, he pushed Dean’s protestations out of his mind. ‘I’m not leaving you behind. You’ll get through.’

He wouldn’t. Deep down, Cas knew that the wormhole out of Purgatory wouldn’t allow him out. Dean was a human. Purgatory wanted him gone; it was desperate to spit him out. But Cas was an angel - a monster like any other. After all he’d done in heaven and on earth, he deserved to stay here with the rest of the world’s monsters.

“There it is,” Benny pointed out, the blue wormhole in the distance teeming with life and possibilities for anyone that managed to pass through it. 

Before him, Dean and Benny conducted the ritual so that Dean could carry his new friend through the portal. “Alright, Cas, come on.”

Reluctantly, he stepped forward, only to have his attention turned backward when the leviathan landed just paces away. He hurried his friend toward the portal, ready to push him through alone at any moment. 

Dean stepped into the swirling blue light, ready to do anything necessary to bring Cas through with him, but the angel saw the situation for what it was - an untimely death for them both.

“Go!” Cas screamed, pushing Dean through the portal.

After all that had transpired between them, all the ways he had let Dean down, the least he could do was get him back to his brother. With or without him.

——–

A stark white blinded Dean’s eyes when the blade pierced through Cas’ chest, his eyes burning bright before the light went out. 

He’d screamed himself raw that night, cursing Chuck, Lucifer, and the world as a whole for taking Cas away from him. When Cas was stabbed, Dean lost a part of himself, his heart disappearing into a black hole. He used to believe that losses were part of the job, but after losing Cas, he couldn’t make sense of it anymore.

The sharp ring of his phone jarred him awake, his head knocking against the glass. “You okay?” Sam asked. 

No. “Yea, I’m fine,” Dean replied, lifting the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

A familiar voice told him to turn down the next block and although everything in him was telling him this was impossible, a trick, or just something too good to be true, he forced Sam to turn down the street without any explanation. “What is it?” Sam asked. “Dean, what’s happening?”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. If there was even the smallest chance, Dean was going to take it, no matter the risk of disappointment. 

Near a payphone halfway down the block, the silhouetted figure of the trenchcoat-wearing angel caught the brothers’ eyes. Sam slammed on the brakes. “Cas?”

Sam immediately gathered the angel into his embrace, while the older stared through glassy eyes, afraid to believe them. “Cas,” he breathed as he held onto his angel for dear life. There was so much he needed to say. He wanted to tell him that when the light in his eyes went out, his own heart forgot to keep beating, but nothing would come out. Instead, he hugged him tighter, hoping to never let go.

——–

Dean stormed back into the bunker hours later without a passing glance at Sam, a bottle of bourbon in his hand and a blanket of guilt wrapped around his shoulders. When he opened the door to his room, he hoped to see Cas, to finally say all the things he should’ve said so long ago, but the door opened to an empty room. 

Closing the door behind him, Dean tipped the amber liquid into his mouth, thankful for the familiar burn, almost as familiar as the layer of guilt he’d worn for so many years. Cas, I’m sorry, he whispered to himself. “I wish I’d had the balls to tell you how I felt a long time ago, but I’m a coward, I’ve-”

A quick flap of Cas’ wings brought Dean’s attention to the angel’s presence. “Dean Winchester, you are not a coward.” Though his deep blue eyes teemed with tears, his words were adamant. “I did not raise a coward. I have not been stuck by a coward’s side for the past ten years. I-”

“Cas, I didn’t call you. How?”

“I heard you.”

Dean placed the bottle of bourbon on the nightstand next to his bed, his gaze following suit, the heaviness of the moment too much for him to bear just yet. The desire to just be was at war with his desire to protect, to push away. “Michael could come back, Cas. You could-”

“That’s my choice,” he retorted. In the forest green eyes of the man he loved, he saw his feelings reflected, but years of loss made him painfully hesitant. Cas took a step closer and swallowed the growing lump in his throat. “Dean, we’re always fighting. Always. Let’s face it, we don’t know anything else at this point, but-”

“But at least we’d have each other,” Dean finished.

Dean finally allowed himself to lock eyes with Cas - the feeling familiar and calming, yet always sent his heart racing. 

Not another word was spoken as Cas backed Dean into the wall of his room, his lips hungrily searching for Dean’s. He’d thought Dean would be hesitant, but he wasn’t. His hands searched for Cas’ shirt, fingers hurriedly unbuttoning as he pulled the material free and moaned into the angel’s mouth. 

Cas lifted the hem of Dean’s shirt, grazing his fingers along the scar-ridden skin before pulling the material over his head. When he laid his hand on the mark he’d left on Dean’s shoulder so long ago, Dean switched their positions and pushed Cas back into the wall.

As Dean dropped to his knees, Cas threw his tie to the ground and let his coat and shirt pool behind him. Dean pulled Cas’ cock free of his pants and pushed them down around his ankles, taking the tip into his mouth while he watched Cas’ mouth drop open. 

Dean grazed his hand up Cas’ thigh and cupped his balls, running his finger between them while his tongue swirled around the length of him. Cas’ hand fell gently onto the mark on Dean’s shoulder, making him feel wanted, loved, safe. He looked up through thick lashes and pushed down further, not caring about the wanton noises he was making or the mess they’d have to clean up later. 

Cas braced himself up against the wall and slipped his hands into Dean’s hair, watching with rapt attention as Dean pulled back to take a deep breath before returning to his task of making the angel come undone. “Fuck,” Cas breathed.

Hearing Cas’s voice pushed Dean to take him down further, go faster, but Cas wasn’t about to let this be over that quickly. Not after 10 years. He slipped his hand under Dean’s chin and guided him to a standing position.

Dean’s lips were slick with spit, eyes glassy as he walked backward toward the bed. Cas pulled on his bottom lip, hands skating up the length of his spine before he pushed him down on the bed and grabbed some lubricant from Dean’s side drawer. 

Moaning, Dean dug his shoulders into the bed as Cas massaged the lube into his skin. “It’s been ten years, Cas. No more foreplay.”

Cas chuckled, expecting nothing less from the man he loved. Bending down, he kissed Dean and he slipped his cock passed the tight right of muscle. They moaned into each other’s mouths, grasping for each other and the surrounding sheets as Cas pumped himself inside Dean. 

Underneath the angel, Dean reached down to cup Cas’ balls as they slapped against his ass. “Fuckin hell, Cas.”

“You’ve always had a mouth on you,” he replied with a laugh. 

Dean spoke on a moan. “You think that’d change now?”

There was some kind of a response floating around in Cas’ head, but as Dean clenched around him all thought disappeared, his control waning despite his best efforts. He wanted this to last longer, to memorize the sounds he made, the way he tasted like whiskey, the feel of his muscles straining under his touch, but Dean pulled him down into a kiss so hungry it broke Cas’ resolve.

When Cas came, he wrapped his hand around Dean’s cock and pumped him hard, silencing his cry with a kiss when Dean finally let go. With a satisfied sigh, a heavy weight lifting from his soul, Dean slid back into his spot on the bed, tapping next to him. “Stay?” He asked.

“Where else would I go?”


End file.
